The poet and philosopher Khalil Gibran wrote in his poem entitled
“On Children,” “Your children are not your children. / They come through
you but not from you, / And though they are with you yet they belong not
to you. / You may give them your love but not your thoughts, / For they
have their own thoughts.”
Knowing your own strengths will help your children understand theirs.
Parents sometimes think they can tell their children what their
strengths are, but they can’t. A strength is an activity that energizes
you. Only the person doing the activity will know whether or not it is
energizing to them.
I once knew a man who was a fly fishing guide. The last I heard he had
a child whom he named River. “He’s going to be a great fisherman”. I
cringe at this expectation. What if the boy is not energized by
fishing? Often parents impose their likes and strengths onto children
and children, desperately wanting to please parents (there is nothing
children dislike more than disappointing their parents) take on
activities that they may not really be interested in. When a child has
a talent at something he is not interested in, sometimes he will feel
guilty if he wants to discontinue the activity. In general, you can
help kids discover their strengths by listening to their likes and
dislikes. You can notice what they are drawn to and take note of those
things. Ask them questions and try to avoid laying too many of your own
expectations on them. IN the end, they are THEIR strengths they are
developing.
So, Here is the idea...it seems so simple really.Why don't we all look for what is right about the people in the world? Why don't we believe we can make a difference and then, by god, go out there and make one?
I work with young people. They all believe they can change the world and the only thing in their way is lack of resources and cynics (called adults).
My world is all about waking up one day at age 45 and saying, it is now or never. I am setting out to change the world. Three months later I had a major book deal, a year later, I am leading a movement to change the educational system. Is this "the secret" at work? I don't think so. This is the result of resolve, hard work, commitment and desire for a better world. We must get kids to focus on their strengths because they are going to have to solve many big problems in the world. We cannot motivate young people to take on these problems unless we give them a positive outlook on themselves and the world.
Perhaps this sounds Pollyanna to some people. What is easy about being positive? Seems as though there is nothing easy about it. It is easy to be cynical and critical of the world. It is much more difficult to get out there and do something. Children do not respond well to cynics--only adults do. Does this make me wibbly-wobbly kind of soft and feeble-minded? I don't think so, that would be a conversation about egos, not need for action. We have a need for action here. It involves looking for what is right in a person as the first step. That is a significant challenge. It is hard for me, too.
One of the things that parents and teachers often do is focus on what kids can't do rather than what they can do or what they really enjoy doing. What are your strengths? When did you first begin like there was something that really energized you rather than left you feeling weak and depleted? A strength is what you do that energizes you. It is the thing you will focus on with the most passion and therefore, it is the thing you will able to find the most success at doing. When people begin to look at life that way it opens up all sorts of possibilities for them. It is my conviction that a strengths-based approach to teaching, learning, and leading has the potential to transform educational practice, and the home lives of most children.
When people are encouraged to become the persons they were created to be, then discovering their calling and becoming engaged in life far more likely. For years, teachers and parents have focused on a negative model of child success, based on the belief that young people can succeed most effectively by identifying and correcting their weaknesses.
One of the things that parents and teachers often do is focus on what
kids can't do rather than what they can do or what they really enjoy
doing. What are your strengths? When did you first begin like there was
something that really energized you rather than left you feeling weak
and depleted? A strength is what you do that energizes you. It is the
thing you will focus on with the most passion and therefore, it is the
thing you will able to find the most success at doing. When people
begin to look at life that way it opens up all sorts of
possibilities for them. It is my conviction that a strengths-based
approach to teaching, learning, and leading has the potential to
transform educational practice, and the home lives of most children.
When people are encouraged to become the persons they were created to be, then discovering their calling and becoming engaged in life far more likely. For years, teachers and parents have focused on a negative model of child success, based on the belief that young people can succeed most effectively by identifying and correcting their weaknesses.
A book is about to come out that will forever change how your view yourself and children. This book is not only for children who struggle, but for children and parents of every age. The hope of this book is that it will revolutionize the way our communities work with young people and the way our schools work. Please excuse me while I promote the ideas in this book. I want very much for them to take hold and really help young people. I am available to speak to your groups free of charge.
Links
The Strengths Movement in S...
We foster weakness when we force children to sit all day ...
